“If a ruler listens to lies, all his officials become wicked.”
King Solomon
A few weeks ago at Clarity Bootcamp, a senior leader asked me: “How do I get more out of my people? I sense they can do more.”
The question deeply resonated. I’m sharing my response here, in case it serves you too.
Every team has dormant seeds of brilliance. In my experience, activating that brilliance depends on how we choose to lead – what we notice, affirm, and reward. Getting the best out of people isn’t magic. It’s method.
Here are four truths I’ve learned about drawing out the best in others (and yes, they work outside the office too):
1. Call out their strengths, then challenge them: My biggest learning by far is to quickly identify what someone is good at, say it out loud, and give them the chance to use it. Strengths aren’t boxes – they’re bridges. And people often have to move through their strengths to reach new destinations. Celebrate their gift. Encourage it. Then stretch them. You grow muscle by carrying weight.
2. Give feedback on actions, not identity: Correction is necessary – but how you give it matters (and how they receive it, but that’s another story). Never attack the person. Focus on the action or outcome. Be clear, constructive, and consistent. And don’t forget, praise matters just as much, if not more, than critique. Use the “sandwich method” when it fits – praise, correct, praise.
3. Lead with respect. Always: Respect isn’t optional. It’s foundational. Treat people as capable and valuable not because of their title, but because they’re human. Respect fuels ownership and unlocks motivation. I share practical ways to lead with respect in UNLEASH and in my free workbook on HONOR here.
4. Appreciate publicly and often: What you genuinely appreciate tends to grow. So, say thank you – often. In real time. In writing. In meetings. Celebrate wins. Acknowledge effort. Be specific. Gratitude builds trust and deepens commitment.
And a word to those being led: Loyalty is powerful, but it’s not a substitute for competence. You can be deeply loved and still be let go – not because your boss stopped caring, but because the work demanded more. Don’t let incompetence rob you of the rewards your loyalty deserves.
I hope these reflections serve you. They might just be the unlock your work culture needs.
Yours in possibilities,
TKO